“This is not you…”

When a person says that to you, are they insulting or complimenting you?

The one who this phrase is directed to, prickles, but what does it mean?

If whatever is crowding our minds, troubling our conscience, pressing our wallets, in turn making us lash out at others…as scapegoats…It’s not justified. No way.

But under normal circumstances we wouldn’t pick and jump at any spontaneous annoyances, but some people are like that; jumping at every little provocation, whining, squealing about their day’s troubles, muttering and slamming doors until they get the attention of people around them. What I’m trying to say is ‘that’ behaviour is normal for some super sensitive people.

But get this, these super-sensitive-whiny complainers telling you (relatively calmer people of fewer word and slams) when you’re in a fury or amidst an especially heated rant, “this is not you.”

How do you react?

Time to come back

Its the second of December, its 2:58 in the morning, and I am up.

Well, to justify that, I was busy preparing my module to submit to my tutor tomorrow and guess what?

Somebody, peeked in my window.
Not literally, this window.
I have one comment.

I can't say that I'm exactly happy about it though..
I kinda liked the feeling that my blog was open out there, yet it seemed impossible for anybody to knock on it.

Well it happened apparently, it was a call unto me, to move it.
The past months wasn't happy, that's what family does...they make you worry, and if you worry, they worry, and you know everything ain't right.

But hopefully soon. Not just the windows, but doors are going to open for us.

Insha-Allah.

Ramadhan Finale

The 30th night of Ramadhan for us. One day to go for -Eid

Makkah has Eid tomorrow, 29 days for them this year.

Eid Mubarak to all of those who are having Eid tomorrow. (although they won't see this message)

One more fast for us.....what should I have for my last day of sehri??

Today's window

I was just kind of solemnly gazing at my bare blog,
 and of my not doing justice to the title I named it.

So I decided, I'm going to put (whenever possible) a 'window' open for me,
 just to fantasize, and feel happy for and with myself.

And I'm going to post the most fairytale like one first.
This picture/painting is absolutely beautiful.
Its like the artist caught the essence of a poem no one could write.

Snow

Now that's something we don't have in South Africa, except on the mountain tops.

I remember the first time in about 2003? Yeah, that winter was very cold, and we heard that it was snowing in a place about three hours from where we lived. The next day at 6 in the morning my mom dad and we five siblings went on a road trip looking for snow.

We ended up seeing lots of snow - but only on the mountains....we were told by morning whatever snow had came down to the ground had already melted .

Then in 2007 amazingly it snowed where we lived. It was all over the radio, everybody was running outside trying to catch the feathery flakes as they fell. It was beautiful. And so we got to see about a millimetre of snow....too little to actually make a snow man or have a now ball fight, but I loved every moment of it.

I live in a suburb in  Johannesburg, Gauteng and I hate it.
It’s claustrophobic
There is no ‘view’, and I can go on, and on.

But South Africa is beautiful country, just not my province i.e. Gauteng.
But go on a road trip; pass the vast open landscapes, its beautiful cattle, the mountains, and finally the ocean?  

And it is a God given land for sure.

Even the Karoo has its charm.

But Gauteng? Gauteng is the home of Johannesburg CBD where the businesses run. Cities, lighted malls, posh cars, self loving snooty people...Other than that? Nah, just flat, dry land, with a few dams or lakes that people like us would drive for two hours on a Sunday just to see some water. Yeah, no kidding.

And I just dream of moving from this place, dream of living on an open estate......a farm, a ranch?
God, now that's a dream. A dream that can hardly come through for me.
F.E



Family.

We can't choose them can we?
And by 'family', I'm not meaning siblings, they're a topic all on their own.

We can smile when they talk about everything that revolves around themselves (Aunts), nod while they discuss world issues as though they're politicians themselves(Uncles),
and barely refrain from rolling your eyes, when they prattle on about their little dramas (cousins)

Oh, and don't even get me started on the Grandparents! Not to mention those reaching mental breakdowns.

After a while don't your facial muscles begin to protest?

But the other side of my brain is telling me not to generalize, something that I hate when others do, specifically parents....so yeah, okay not all cousins are that shallow or boastful. some are bearable. Huh?


F.E.

My Life...now.

Most grownups like saying how they enjoyed their 'teenage life.'
What A Lie that sounds to me.
Teenage life is such an undetermined point in your life, especially when it comes to you liking or having an interest in something that nobody in your family shares with you or even remotely understands. Yeah that sucks.
I wish I could fast forward my life ten years and see where I'd be...I guess running out of petrol somewhere along the highway through the Karoo?

F.E.

Can I take that back?

When things are done, they're done.
But is guilt ever done??

Time turners would be such a gift, wouldn't it?

Life goes on I'm not sure I'm travelling at the same pace.

F.E.